I think this post has been a draft in my blog since I started the blog. I didn't know how I was going to write it but I knew I needed to and here is what finnally manifested in my mind, heart, and soul.
Let's face it, I should probably be working on my ASN stories or writing a discussion post for class right now, but when you literally get a sign from god to channel in your creativeness during your favorite time of day, you gotta listen, and do what makes you the happiest.
Amongst the extreme pressure, I feel to finish my classes (S/O to the J school for making our deadlines way before the end of actual class so we can truly enjoy our last moments of college)
and the other pressures of only being in college or the UA or Gphi for HAWT MINUTE (literally 3 years feels like 2 months at this point). It has been so hard for me to breathe, slow down, and confirm within myself, it's all going to work out.
I woke up this morning to someone having a bad dream... in the midst of school and sorority craziness, the porch was dead silent when I was startled awake this morning at 4:20 hearing "MOM, MOM, YOU GUYS!". Despite my fears of there being an attacker or someone had been murdered (just wishing they would bring back scream queens ok?) Whoever was having a disturbing dream simply just went back to bed.
Oh, the joys of sleeping in the same room as 56 other girls.
But I had a pretty stellar day ahead, so I lied awake contemplating getting up then because the other fear of getting screamed at for my alarm going off to loud also gave me to much anxiety to go back to bed.
Today is the day I'm getting my cap and gown... WEIRD.
Yet while I know a lot of seniors (who have enjoyed the traditional university experience) are finally feeling the stress of college ending and the saddness of this liberating time in our lives coming to an end... I can't help but feel like I'm sitting anxiously and excitedly on the edge of the rest of my beautiful life.
So there had to be a reason why God so graciously made today such an easy decision to crawl out of my twin size bunk bed at 4:30 am.
The house was silent and as walked downstairs to get my morning coffee, the simplicity and at home feeling, I felt was overwhelming. In fact, I don't think I've felt that much gratitude in a single moment since the day I became a Gamma Phi.
You see lately, I've been taking advantage of Gphi and avoiding a lot of scenarios within it. After having hard times with friends and being in between a PC, grade, and a graduating class, I knew I had people who loved and supported me in all three sections, but I was having a hard time feeling like I belonged.... until this morning.
Maybe it's the mental picture of me wearing and cap and gown, or getting my Gphi stole, but it finally hit me how much I'm going to miss this little pink palace, my letters, my littles and everything greek life has taught me.
So as I took a jog down Greek row this morning before the sunrise (because we all know how soul searching and rejuvenating a sunrise is for me) I felt ready, to cherish this chapter of my life, and be so excited and ready for the next chapter.
Like some have said to me or even about me, "Yeah, I would NEVER wanna be in Megan's situation". I can't help but laugh, and feel so much gratitude for truly having the best of both worlds, for my hard work to always pay off, to always have something to be grateful for, and in the end to have everything (even if it doesn't happen how I imaged) workout in the way it's meant to be.
Some people I especially want to thank...
My littles Skylar & Megan
My Gbig Hannah
My other mama - Kenna
My J school family - Carmen, David, Melissa, Jess, Karen
My professors: Kim Newton, Honorary Professor Rollegio
Our lifesaver (literally) Paloma
My family + Walker